Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Spread the vibrator?


FURTHER PROOF THE END OF THE WORLD IS NEAR:

As seen in France, "TOY BOY" the new film from David Mackenzie, starring Ashton Kutcher and Anne Heche, has a new website ---see here!


No no that tackiness is not a nightmare, it's hip new marketing for a modern smart intelligent world! Sure, there is stuff for us dull boring people with the usual assortment of things of photos and lists of cinemas showing the movie, but whooo hooo forget any sense of storyline deep meaning or intelligence in sentient filmgoers, lets just get to the good part and focus solely on clips of Ashton having oral sex with Anne, and oohh you can also make your own nude barbie doll have sex with the stars! Bonus too! cause all film makers/actors actresses reallly really want this for themselves right....*drumroll as the new future of film marketing takes shape:Fans get in line to BUY A VIBRATOR AND GEL (orange scented to boot!) from Ashton Kutchers new film! Huzzah!

SEE ASHTON'S MOVIE, BUY THE VIBRATOR, GREAT IDEA!Wow, clearly the rest of the world has been missing the boat all these years with this super intelligent marketing! Forget any pretense of class and wit and intelligence JUST GO FOR THE PURE HARD FUCK, EMBRACE those back pages of Penthouse folks that what we all want clearly! I mean jeesh, Bobby DeNiro and Coppola totally need to have banners showing 'support your local Mafia!' on each poster, or ooh maybe Sean Pean and the superb Milk should have included gay sex howtoos, and omg totally- Marty Scoresese should give away free guns for the premiere of his films! Yip yip!

Clearly I am being sarcastic, but my god, HOW SAD AND PATHETIC is this???
Good lord, ABSOLUTE CRAP and totally not befitting of the efforts of this film, certainly not David nor the rest of the producers film makers, nor the cast and crew.

7 comments:

  1. I am at a total loss for words.......................

    Oh Sue!!!! I am sitting here reading this simultaneously laughing hysterically whilst wishing to put my head through the nearest wall!

    All these years DM's films have fought to introduce audiences to an intelligent view of human sexuality & human relationships only to now be - with this nonsense - shot to hell.

    Do you know anything about US screenings of this film? Any chance it might make its way to SC? If so, I plan to be the first in line to see it &, assuming it is DM's usual intelligent work - I intend to write about it LOUDLY on my blog (for the few folks who read it) in my own meager effort to counter-act this silliness.

    I sincerely hope this film is not as tacky as the marketing folk are implying it is.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Eh.. Oh... Eh....Hm...

    I'm speachless!


    Marit

    ReplyDelete
  3. Loved the film - saw it yesterday at 1st UK screening at EIFF. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Colin!
    Cool! Very glad you got to see the film and liked it like so many others! Dave is truly talented and clearly I support him and his work. Looking forward to seeing Spread here in the States in a few months :)

    Thanks much for stopping by, appreciated!
    Best,
    Sue

    ReplyDelete
  5. Marit... that is exactly my reaction today when I saw this...literally I couldnt believe the horror in front of my eyes on the screen-before coffee to boot! Dreadful!

    So glad you got to see Spread at EIFF, hope the rest of your visit is equally enjoyable!

    ANNA= ALL CAP RIGHT ON THE HEAD, as usual beautifully put about the efforts of David and the honesty with which he portrays sexuality in his films to this crass tacky marketing, breaks my heart really.

    I know that the film is going into limited release but will def keep an eye out for showings in your area- WRITE LOUD AND STRONG; I think MANY of us will be in agreement and reading :)
    Hope you are well xxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. Limited release does not bode well for my corner of the planet, alas. This had better not be like waiting for HF. Geez!

    BTW - do you know anything about the whereabouts of Andrea Arnold's next film?

    ReplyDelete
  7. *shakes head*
    What can I say?

    And of course, the marketing people will so think they are right on the mark with this.

    ReplyDelete